Life Discoveries

Don't you just love it when you have those lightbulb moments? Just recently I had one about myself, my life, and my relationships. While these past few months have brought me a lot of happiness and good times in my relationship with Jake, I couldn't escape this feeling that something was a little off about myself. As I was reflecting back on this past year, I was trying to pinpoint what exactly it was and I finally figured it out. When I'm in a relationship I think of myself as a very giving person and I put a lot of effort and thought into that other person's happiness and wellbeing. While I don't think there's anything wrong with this, I do find it wrong that I let it almost be all consuming. I realized that I have been putting less time and effort into myself. That has been a big flaw for me in my past relationships. I give and give to the other person until there is nothing to give to myself. I've realized that there must be a balance and I need to find a way to achieve this balance. While it's important for me to cultivate a healthy relationship with my partner, I must also continue to cultivate one with myself. And even though I have found an amazing man who treats me right and is so good to me, I need to continue to be good to me. I need to continue to find things that I enjoy doing, that challenge and excite me and make me grow as a person. This was a HUGE discovery for me and it will help me continue down my path of self love. You guys! I am so excited about this!

So I've made a new resolve to put some focus back on me and finally, FINALLY, I don't feel selfish or guilty for feeling this way. I am lucky that I have a man who will support me and show understanding in this, that he won't feel threatened of my need to spend time for myself or my desire to nourish relationships with others in my life.

Isn't life amazing!? Isn't it so cool that we make mistakes but yet we can learn from them and change our decisions and choices to make our life better? Isn't it so amazing that we are in control of our happiness and that we can improve on ourselves everyday? Indeed it is! Just when I thought I had things all figured out, I turn a corner only to find more. And I say, keep the turns coming.