I Want a Girl Like You...But Not You

So pretty much the day after our date Wesley and I already had plans to meet up again. We continued to see each other pretty consistently after that. Just hanging out, dinner, movie nights, shopping, things like that. I was trying really hard to keep a wall up and not get too attached or grow any feelings for him. After all, we were just having fun and keeping things light. Despite all my attempts I woke up one morning after a night of hanging out with him and I looked in the mirror and noticed the goofiest grin on my face. Oh, crap!! How did that happen?! How did I fall for for him?! Maybe it's because he's sweet, considerate, fun, adventurous, smart, and attractive. Just maybe... 

After assessing my feelings I was even more determined not to get caught up in things and eventually get hurt. One night we were talking about the type of people we want to eventually end up with and our conversation ended with him saying, "If only I could find a girl like you!" and I said, "If only I could find a guy like YOU!" Wait....what just happened there? Did we both just say that? Then why couldn't it possibly work out for the two of us? I knew there were things that he liked about me but I also knew there were some deal breakers so I brought it up. I was like, "So if I was more fit and I didn't have kids we would basically be together?" And he basically said yes. Well, there you have it then. I could change the fitness part, but then I'd always be paranoid and stressed about gaining weight but I definitely couldn't change the fact that I had kids, nor would I want to. Wesley is very active and likes a very active lifestyle and is looking for someone to share that with. We're talking about running marathons people, so I knew that I couldn't keep up with that and he also has the desire to start a family with someone and have kids of his own. I'm no longer able to get pregnant so I guess that's two big strikes against me. This. Totally. Sucks.